1) A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others
2) Any of the particular feelings that characterize such a state of mind such as joy, anger, love, hate horror, etc.
If you are anything like me, then emotions scare the crap out of you. Emotions make me awkward! They make me feel so uncomfortable. I am comfortable being unemotional and not caring. I've never been a "nice" person; actually I have always been kind of mean. It's not my first response to be sympathetic, worried, or caring...most of the time I just laugh it off.
I have a ton of good looking guy best friends, they are fun to be around, they're nice, we don’t fight, and they are not dramatic like girls are. But just because I have a lot of guy friends doesn't mean I have been in a lot of relationships. I am definitely not the type of person to just like any guy as more than friends, simply because I am not an emotional person for one thing, but another is because Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Also I do not believe in making such important decisions like to get into a relationship off of emotions. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
-Jeremiah 17:9
If my heart is deceitful why trust my own emotions? "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
With all of this being said, yes it is hard for me to have and to deal with emotions, and yes it is hard for me to be compassionate to others. But, Ezekiel 37:26 says, "I will give you a new heart and new spirit-I will remove from you your heart of stone." How awesome is that? The bible says I am dead to myself and alive in Christ. I am not that mean bully that I used to be! I know that I am not completely un-emotional! Everyone desires to be loved, even me. You can ask any of my friends that are girls and they will tell you yeah Mycah has ALWAYS wanted to get married. Love is a very strong emotion. I love the Lord, I love my family, I love my friends...but I guess the real question is: do I love my neighbor? Do I love complete strangers? Do I love the "un-lovable"? And is the "love" that I have for people the same love Jesus Christ has for me? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind." -Matthew 22:37 I love the idea of being in love, but how could I ever love someone else the way I should if I don't love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind?
Now we go on to the emotion of anger. The bible says, "be angry and sin not." Can you say convicting?! My main emotion is anger, and I know that I let myself sin in my anger! "An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot tempered person commits many sins" -Proverbs 29:22 I get so annoyed, so frustrated, so mad! My grandma always tells me, "no one understands your anger; you hide your emotions and you’re hurt with anger." She couldn't be more right.
I cannot justify the fact that I am unemotional, non-compassionate, and quick to anger, with the excuse of "this is just who I am". That would mean I find my identity in my flesh. "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." -Romans 8:5-6
So in reality, when I am not being compassionate, when I am being rude, when I am angry, I am living by the fleshly desires and not by the Spirit.
The conclusion in all of this mess of my life is that I am growing, Jesus is transforming me! Jesus is filling my heart with compassion, giving me a gentle and quiet spirit, teaching me to love with the same love He gives me daily. It's hard, it's uncomfortable, but I crave to be the women God has called me to be.
